Oldies but cuties

Here is another joke sent to me via SMS.  I like it as it shows how ‘genius’ Filipinos are.  Enjoy, people!

Pedro: Miss, magkano serbisyo mo?

GRO: P500 sa kama, P300 sa sofa, P200 sa sahig at P100 sa damuhan.

Pedro: Sige, P500!

GRO: Wow, bigatin! Sa kama?

Pedro: Hindi! Limang beses sa damuhan!

A man was carrying 3 babies in a train. The lady sitting next to him asked, ‘Are these your babies?’

‘No. I am a condom salesman and these are customer complaints . . . . .’

image from fotosearch.com

An old man was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair with colors green, red, orange and blue. The old man kept staring at him that irritated the boy.

Teenager: Never done anything wild in your life?

Old Man: Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I’m wondering if you’re my son.

Working on a single blog post is exciting. It is even more exciting when it’s time for you to press ‘publish’. You think: ‘What will my readers say?’, ‘How will they react?’, ‘Will they like this?’, How many comments will I get?’ and some more other things. You must be open to criticism, as other people may not agree with your opinion.

Writing requires skills, attention to details, focus or concentration and proper delivery. You also have to have the passion. Writing is like public speaking – you must have at least a little sense of humor so you won’t bore your audience.

While some people prefer outdoors, personally, I find it more comfortable writing when I’m alone and away from noise. I like working in a quiet place (that’s how I came up with the title of my blog ) and my room is just the perfect place. When I get tired, I just lie down in bed for awhile then get back up again and continue. Different people, different style. My advice is do whatever makes you feel comfortable. I’m not just so sure if anyone of you people prefer to work seating on this Hawaii chair featured on The Ellen Degeneres Show . . . . .

Now, tell me . . . . .

On the first day, God created the dog and said:

” Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.”

The dog said: “That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I’ll give you back the other ten?”

So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said: “Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I’ll give you a twenty-year life span.”

The monkey said: “Monkey tricks for twenty years? That’s a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?”

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said: “You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer’s family For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.”

The cow said: “That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I’ll give back the other forty?”

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said: “Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I’ll give you twenty years.”

But man said: “Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?”

“Okay,” said God, “You asked for it.”

So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you…

A woman is always right.

Sometimes she may be confused, misinformed, rude, stubborn, unclear, changeable, even downright stupid.

But never, never wrong