Posts Tagged ‘parenting’

27
Jun

Words to Inspire

   Posted by: abelle   in parenting101, the kiddie corner

Seven things you should say to your kids – and seven things you shouldn’t
by Cynthia Dermody

The buzzer sounded in the gym and the basketball game was over. Even though 12-year old CJ Givens’s team had lost, his aunt Melanie was nonetheless ecstatic. CJ had scored every single one of his team’s 24 points – including a couple of three-pointers. As he loped over to his family waiting in the bleachers, the hugs and compliments started flying: ‘You were awesome!’ ‘Way to hustle for all those points!’

Then CJ’s aunt said, ‘Now, if you could just help your teammates play as well as you do, you guys would be unstoppable!’

What do you mean?’ CJ said defensively. ‘I did the best I could! What didn’t I do right?’ His aunt couldn’t understand the boy’s reaction. She’d just finished showering him with praise.

‘The message CJ got was that he didn’t do enough,’ explains child psychologist Vicki Panaccione, PhD, founder of the Better Parenting Institute in Melbourne, Florida. ‘His aunt was telling him he was fabulous, he could be a mentor to his teammates. But that’s not he heard, because of the words she used.’

A parent, or anyone else who interacts regularly with kids, knows that communicating effectively with them can be difficult.

In CJ’s case, his aunt simply explained herself and the boy later calmed down. But common words and phrases, no matter how well-intended, can do a lot of emotional and psychological harm. Young brains are still developing through the teen years, and kids can’t be expected to process words, context and nuance (sarcasm, for instance) the same way that an adult’s brain does.

If you want children to grow up into the best possible versions of themselves, it’s crucial to replace damaging words in your vocabulary with alternatives that help build character. Some of the things parents say to kids seem harmless or even constructive on the surface, but experts say, they may hurt more than help. Here are seven of these common phrases, and alternatives to get your message across in a better way.

Read the rest of this entry »

17
Jun

Study Tips for Kids and Parents

   Posted by: abelle   in parenting101, the kiddie corner

With school back in session, here are tips from Oxford Learning to get your kids through school and dreaded exams.

Kids

1. Listen and hear. Pay attention in class. Jot notes on the main ideas. Don’t understand something? Make a note and ask someone to explain it to you.
2. Ace your homework. Use a planner to enter your homework as soon as it’s assigned. Pick a comfortable place to do homework and study.
3. Study effectively. Divide material into units and assign each unit a day. Give yourself a three-day break before the test. Study in short bursts – then take a five-minute breather to exercise and re-focus. Use Oxford’s SQRCRC method to study:
Survey introductions, headings and summaries for main ideas.
Question: “What do I hope to learn by reading this?”
Read for details.
Cover the work.
Recite what you’ve just read.
Check how well you have done.

Parents

1. Help your child prepare a study schedule, and review it together every morning.
2. Create a special work environment that encourages best efforts and makes it easier for your child to get into study mode.
3. Get involved. Your interest shows them that school is important.

source: Reader’s Digest Jan2008 issue, pg138

26
May

Mother and Child Bond

   Posted by: abelle   in the life of an ordinary earthling

I am sure many of us have received, been given or made a ‘friendship bond’ for our own circle of friends. It is a way to tell the world that you’re best friends with your pals. But nothing beats the bond of a mother and her child. The photo above shows the ‘bond’ between me and my son who is now 10 years old and currently in 5th grade. I still keep these pink and blue bracelets of ours that have our names on it. Our names there may fade and Jeff’s bracelet no longer fits him, but we will remain mother and son forever.

This post is also an entry to a contest hosted by Carlota of Dashing Smiles. Thanks, Carlota! ;)

Your everyday decisions really can make a difference.
by Mary Atkins

1. In public toilets, is it better to use a paper towel or an electric hand dryer?

Go for the hot air. The energy needed to heat and blow air at your hands is far less than the energy needed to make and transport paper towels and haul waste away. One US study found that nine fully grown trees are cut down to supply an average fast food restaurant with paper towels over the year; the tossed towels then create over 450 kilograms of landfill waste. The hand dryer is also more hygienic. Doctors at the University of Ottawa claim the hot air gets into more crevices in the skin, killing off germs quicker.

2. Should I do the dirty dishes by hand or use a dishwasher?

This one’s not so crystal clear, since it all depends on how you hand wash and on the model of dishwasher. According to Tanya Ha, the author of Greeniology, old-style washing, suing one sink for washing and another for rinsing, consumes 15 – 20 liters of water. “However, the amount increases considerably if you rinse dishes under running tap water instead of using a filled sink or bucket.”

Research by the British government’s Market Transformation Programme last year found that dishwashers get items cleaner and use about 75 per cent less water. The key is having a modern model. Dishwashers built today use around 95 per cent less energy than those built 30 years ago, says Ha. Older models can use up to 90 liters of water a load; modern two-drawer dishwashers use as little as nine liters. To be even greener, stick to full loads and use the no-heat or air-dry option.

3. Should I do my laundry in a front-loader or top-loading washing machine?

Front-loaders win, hands down. Top-loaders have faster cycles but they use much more water, energy and detergent. When you are buying a new machine, look for the labels listing its energy and water ratings. Also choose a machine size that suits your household. Even if you’re not planning on buying a new machine, you can still make your current washer more eco-friendly. Clean the filter, use the minimum amount of detergent, stick to cold water and stick with full loads.

4. What should I eat for dinner tonight?

Out of everything you do, what you choose to eat has the biggest impact on the environment, says Rebecca Blackburn, author of Green is Good: Smart Ways to Live Well and Help the Planet. “Farming uses more resources than any other industry. It also produces one fifth of our greenhouse gas emissions.” In fact, one third of the average person’s carbon footprint is due to their intake of animal-based food, which is far more than the impact of driving a car or the energy used in our homes.

So should we turn vegetarian? Blackburn says you’ll be surprised at how much you can help the environment simply by reducing your red meat intake even slightly. In fact, eating three kilograms less red meat each year is equivalent to reducing household water use by half! Blackburn’s handy tip: go for Meatless Monday.

5. Is it correct that flickering fluoro lights on and off uses more energy?

Actually no. New data suggests frequent switching doesn’t shorten the life span of bulbs or waste energy. Compact fluorescent bulbs are basically energy-efficient versions of the strip lighting we used to put in bathrooms. Manufacturer Osram is now selling a bulb that claims can be switched 500,000 times – equivalent to 91 times per day over its 15-year life.

6. When it comes to grocery shopping, should I do a big shop each month or fortnight, or should I shop every few days?

Around the world, billions of dollars worth of food gets thrown out each year. The United Nations Food Programme reports that just five per cent of leftovers in the US alone can feed four million people in Africa. “It’s not just money that’s being wasted, it’s the resources that went into making the food,” says Blackburn. “Do an audit of the fridge before you go shopping and figure out what’s left behind, what went off and why you didn’t eat the food.” So by all means, do a big monthly shop of durables and non-perishables, but buy your fresh fruit and vegetables every couple of days so they don’t sit in the crisper unused.

7. Are the new hybrid cars that much better than small, fuel-efficient, conventional cars?

Hybrid cars are not the be-all and end-all. “Choose the smallest car that you can manage and choose the most fuel-efficient car in that range,” says Blackburn. “You can make a big difference without buying a hybrid,” she adds. “If money’s an issue, you’d be far better off spending the extra money on a rainwater tank, solar hot water, insulation and energy-efficient appliances.”

8. What’s best: curtains or venetian blinds?

When it comes to keeping your house insulated, curtains win hands down. Venetian blinds don’t reduce heat transfer at all; a close-fitting, lined, floor-length curtain with a pelmet will reduce heat loss in winter by one third. To keep the radiant heat out in summer, install outdoor shutters, awnings or miniature louvers. Window films provide some protection from the sun but are less effective than external blinds, and they also don’t protect against heat loss when it’s cold.

9. When it comes to baby, what’s best: disposable nappies or cloth nappies?

Let’s call this a draw. Several independent studies – taking into account all the environmental factors such as raw material and energy usage, emissions of air and water pollution, and even waste management – conclude that both have roughly the same environmental effect. But the dollar cost is another equation.

10. I’m thirsty. Bottled water or tap?

Millions of liters of bottled water consumed each year. Around the world, more than 100 million tons of plastic is produced every year, most of which ends up as landfill. When it comes to tap water, there are no transportation costs or carbon emissions. If the tap water in your home is safe to drink, buy your own water bottle.

11. Solar hot water and solar panels: what’s the difference?

A lot of people get confused about this. One is taking the sun’s energy and heating up hot water. The other is taking the sun’s energy and producing electricity.

If you can imagine going camping with a big black barrel filled with water sitting in the sun, when you had a shower from the barrel, the water would be warm, says Blackburn. That’s essentially the same as the process in a solar hot water system. Solar electricity is more complicated and it’s still quite expensive.

Blackburn says, “It’s not cost effective to install solar panels as a way to reduce your greenhouse gas emissions. For much less money, you can install energy-efficient appliances, lights and insulation and reduce your emissions by about half.”

12. Rechargeable versus disposable batteries?

Rechargeables. No question. They work out better on the hip pocket, too. “You buy them once for about $4, versus a normal alkaline battery for $1, but get to use them about 100 times.” And for those who think rechargeable batteries are too fiddly to use and take too long to charge: remember, you’re already using them in your mobile phone and laptop. “If you were using throwaway batteries in your mobile, it would cost more than your phone bill.”

13. Scraps. Should I compost them or throw them straight in the bin?

Up to 50 per cent of domestic waste is food scraps and garden waste that could be composted. Make it easy for yourself: keep a little plastic bin on the kitchen bench, or use a stainless steel cooking pot and line it with newspaper so it cleans more easily. You can compost the strangest things: vegetable oil, tea bags, coffee grounds, vacuum dust, eggshells, hair removed from a brush, shredded paper and cardboard, even dried flower arrangements.

If you live in an apartment, consider a Bokashi bin. It sits under your sink and the fermentation process doesn’t produce smells. When full, visit the communal garden o enrich a friend’s garden. Go to rdasia.com to learn how to make your own Bokashi bin.

source: Reader’s Digest Apr2008 isse, pg106

1
Apr

TuesdayToot#2 - 04.01.08

   Posted by: abelle   in tuesday toot

Jeff and I were out the whole day yesterday. We went to his doctor in the morning for his check up. Then in the afternoon, we had a date – I’m talking about me and Jeff here, not me and his doctor ;)

Anyway, since today is Tuesday, I’m making this post my 2nd toot. I got two accomplishments so far. Here goes.

The trip to the ENT clinic
Jeff and I went to St. Luke’s Medical Center in the morning for his check up. The ENT doctor said, though Jeff’s tonsils are big, they are not that big to really recommend tonsillectomy, unless they give Jeff so much trouble like tonsillitis every month, throat infection every now and then and things like that. Jeff did not get seriously sick last year, just colds and cough but no fever. So Dr. Castañeda asked us to come back again on April21 for another routine check up and told me to observe if Jeff’s tonsils get bigger. On our next visit, we will know what the doctor’s final recommendation will be and if the operation will push through.

The trip to the movie house
horton movie From the hospital, we had our lunch in a nearby restaurant then went straight to the mall. Jeff wanted to see the movie Horton Hears a Who, so we did. The movie was funny and touching at the same time. I liked it! This is the kind of movie that the whole family must see. It tells about the value of friendship, trust, keeping a promise, believing, love, family, determination – everything! I can actually see the story as the story of mankind. That we all live in a tiny speck called earth, and the flower is the universe and Horton, the one holding the flower where the speck is, is God. One can really see and realize how small and powerless we are without God. Go see the movie, guys. It’s a good one.

23
Feb

The Images of a Mother

   Posted by: abelle   in parenting101, relationship101

4 YEARS OF AGE - My Mommy can do anything!

8 YEARS OF AGE - My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!

12 YEARS OF AGE - My mother doesn’t really know quite everything.

14 YEARS OF AGE - Naturally, Mother doesn’t know that either.

16 YEARS OF AGE - Mother? She’s hopelessly old-fashioned.

18 YEARS OF AGE - That old woman? She’s way out of date!

25 YEARS OF AGE - Well, she might know a little bit about it.

35 YEARS OF AGE - Before we decide, let’s get Mom’s opinion.

45 YEARS OF AGE - Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?

65 YEARS OF AGE - Wish I could talk it over with Mom.

17
Feb

How to Recognize a Gifted Child

   Posted by: abelle   in parenting101

It is important to recognize a gifted child in order to help promote his or her intelligence, curiosity and desire to learn. Most of these children are never recognized and so their potential is not developed correctly. A gifted child is not a genius and does not have to know everything or do things out of the ordinary, such as play the piano at the age of two or speak several languages at the age of three. They are children who are basically differentiated from the others in their ability to learn much faster and go more deeply into subjects.

Some of the characteristics of a gifted child are:

1. They generally walk and speak before their first year of age.

2. They tend to use very rich language and adult-like vocabulary.

3. They easily understand and remember the information they are given.

4. They generate a great quantity of ideas and solutions to problems.

5. They have a well-developed sense of humor.

6. They have a great deal of curiosity, which makes them question everything.

7. They usually worry about the problems in the world.

8. They adore reading.

9. They like complicated board games.

10.They are leaders.

11.They persevere (they concentrate on a task and persist until they finish it).

12.They have a high level of self-judgment, demand much of themselves, and tend to be dissatisfied.

13.They prefer to work independently and do not need much help.

14.They are vulnerable to the rejection of their classmates.

source: Reader’s Digest Feb2008 issue, pg138

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