That’s my husband, Dario, showing off one of his ‘macho’ poses.

And this is me giving him a ‘come hither’ smile

January05 is our anniversary date. And as if God was trying to send me a message, the Daily Bread story for that day was entitled The Waiting. All my readers know that I share some good reads here from my Our Daily Bread 2008 diary which was given to me by a friend. The reason why I was not able to post this on the day of our anniversary itself was that this blog started on February – a month later. Anyway, if you have read this post, you will understand what this is all about.

The Waiting
(Abraham) believed in the Lord, and He accounted it to him for righteousness. – Genesis15:6

Any mother can tell you that waiting to give birth is an experience that builds patience. But pity the poor mother elephant. It takes about 22 months for an unborn elephant to mature to birth! The shark known as the spiny dogfish has a pregnancy duration of 22-24 months. And at elevations above 4,600 feet, the Alpine salamander endures a gestational period of up to 38 months!

Abraham could have identified with these examples from nature. In his old age, the Lord made a promise to him: ‘I will make you a great nation’ (Gen12:2). But as the years passed, Abraham questioned how the fulfillment of the promise was possible without even the basic bulding block of a son (15:2). So God assured him, ‘One who will come from your own body shall be your heir’ (v.4).

Despite his advanced age, Abraham believed God and was called righteous (v.6). Yet he waited 25 years from the time of the initial promise for Isaac to be born (17:1,17).

Waiting for God’s promise to be fulfilled is part of trusting Him. No matter how long the delay, we must wait for Him. As the writer of Hebrews reminds us, ‘Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful’ (Heb10:23). – Marvin Williams

Not so in haste, my heart! Have faith in God, and wait;
Although He seems to linger long, He never comes too late. – Torrey

God always performs what He promises.

(Also read: Genesis15:1-6, Genesis13-15, Matthew5:1-26)

This is a nice story.  Enjoy reading . . . . .

I walked into the grocery store not particularly interested in buying groceries. I wasn’t hungry. The pain of losing my husband of 57 years was still too raw. And this grocery store held so many sweet memories.

He often came with me and almost every time he’d pretend to go off and look for something special. I knew what he was up to. I’d always spot him walking down the aisle with the three yellow roses in his hands.

He knew I loved yellow roses. With a heart filled with grief, I only wanted to buy my few items and leave, but even grocery shopping was different since he had passed on.

Shopping for one took time, a little more thought than it had for two.

Standing by the meat, I searched for the perfect small steak and remembered how he had loved his steak.

Suddenly a woman came beside me. She was blonde, slim and lovely in a soft green pantsuit. I watched as she picked up a large package of T-bones, dropped them in her basket, hesitated, and then put them back. She turned to go and once again reached for the pack of steaks.

She saw me watching her and she smiled. ‘My husband loves T-bones, but honestly, at these prices, I don’t know.’

I swallowed the emotion down my throat and met her pale blue eyes.

‘My husband passed away eight days ago,’ I told her. Glancing at the package in her hands, I fought to control the tremble in my voice. ‘Buy him the steaks. And cherish every moment you have together.’

She shook her head and I saw the emotion on in her eyes as she placed the package in her basket and wheeled away.

I turned and pushed my cart across the length of the store to the dairy products. There I stood, trying to decide which size milk I should buy. A Quart, I finally decided and moved on to the ice cream. If nothing else, I could always fix myself an ice cream cone.

I placed the ice cream in my cart and looked down the aisle toward the front. I saw first the green suit, then recognized the pretty lady coming towards me. In her arms she carried a package. On her face was the brightest smile! I had ever seen. I would swear a soft halo encircled her blonde hair as she kept walking toward me, her eyes holding mine.

As she came closer, I saw what she held and tears began misting in my eyes. ‘These are for you,’ she said and placed three beautiful long stemmed yellow roses in my arms. ‘When you go through the line, they will know these are paid for.’ She leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on my cheek, then smiled again. I wanted to tell her what she’d done, what the roses meant, but still unable to speak, I watched as she walked away as tears clouded my vision.

I looked down at the beautiful roses nestled in the green tissue wrapping and found it almost unreal. How did she know? Suddenly the answer seemed so clear. I wasn’t alone.

Oh, you haven’t forgotten me, have you? I whispered, with tears in my eyes. He was still with me, and she was his angel.

Every day, be thankful for what you have and who you are.

Even though I clutch my blanket and growl when the alarm rings,
Thank you, Lord, that I can hear. There are many who are deaf.

Even though I keep my eyes closed against the morning light as long as possible,
Thank you, Lord, that I can see. Many are blind.

Even though I huddle in my bed and put off rising,
Thank you, Lord, that I have the strength to rise. There are many who are bedridden.

Even though the first hour of my day is hectic, when socks are lost, toast is burned, tempers are short, and my children are so loud,
Thank you, Lord, for my family. There are many who are lonely.

Even though our breakfast table never looks like the picture in magazines and the menu is at times unbalanced,
Thank you, Lord, for the food we have. There are many who are hungry.

Even though the routine of my job often is monotonous,
Thank you, Lord, for the opportunity to work. There are many who have no job.

Even though I grumble and bemoan my fate from day to day and wish my circumstances were not so modest,
Thank you, Lord, for life.

What more can I ask for?

This is my husband, Dario. A very responsible and loving father and partner. He doesn’t smoke, doesn’t get himself drunk (he only drinks up to 2 bottles of beer and only during an occasion), always gives what’s best for us. He never runs out of jokes and stories to tell, always has time for me & Jeff even if he is far from us, still surprises me with boxes of chocolates and flowers after all these years (the usual dozen red roses ). And when he’s here, he helps me with the dishes and we do the laundry together, which oftentimes leads to us sprinkling water to each other and laughing. He is one of the few men who still hold their wife’s hand in public, and is not shy of giving me a kiss in front of others. And how I adore watching him giving our son a bath, just like when Jeff was still small.

With him, I found the meaning of contentment and true happiness. He is a HUSBAND, a PARTNER, a FRIEND, a FATHER to our son. So what more can I ask for . . . . ?

Happy Father’s Day!!!!!

Here’s a little something for our husbands this Father’s Day . . . . .

by Melanie T. Lim

Where do you find good ones? I’ve been asked so many times. Well, how would I know? I never found one for myself.

What’s a good husband, anyway? Someone who runs at your bidding? That would be your dog. Someone who lets you shop till you drop? That would be your father. Someone who listens to your never-ending woes? That would be your best friend. Someone who loves you no matter what? That would be your mother. Someone who knows exactly how to bring you pleasure? That would be you.

I think men who make good husbands abound. But what is good for one woman is not necessarily good for all. One man can make one woman, a good husband. The same man can make another, a lousy one. We grow up in different homes. We come from different backgrounds. And so we bring different expectations to a marriage.

One woman expects love and fidelity. Another expects financial security. Some women marry for love. Others marry for tradition. Some women expect bliss after the wedding. Some women expect sacrifice. Some women are forgiving. Some women are not open to compromise.

Different expectations conjure up different images of good husbands. Who doesn’t want a man who can cook, who can write poetry and who can move your furniture around when you want to? Well, I don’t. I want a man who can do what I can’t do. But that, my mother would say, is my biggest problem. But I don’t have a problem with a man not knowing how to do the things I can do. It’s he who usually has a problem with that.

There is no perfect man. But there is a perfect match for every woman. Most people think that like minds make a perfect match. But how much passion and excitement can you bring into a relationship when you both love pasta, salsa and Salvador Dali? If we thought, ate and dressed completely alike, how far could we really grow beyond ourselves and our common interests?

I think that a good husband is someone who does not necessarily love and like everything that you think, say or do but someone who endeavors to accept your eccentricities and experiences because his love for you is larger than his priorities and preferences. A good husband is a man who loves you for who you are and all that you hope to be in an imperfect world.

At different times in my life, I vacillated on the best reason for getting married. When I was young and starry-eyed, it was love. When I grew older and bitter, it became convenience. Now that I am yet much older but unexpectedly happier, I believe with all my heart that it should never be for anything but love.

So, where do you find good husbands? Well, every woman should know. Looking for a good husband is much like going shopping. When you know what you want, it’s fast and easy. But when you walk aimlessly through the mall, you mostly end up with impulse goods or nothing at all. If you want to find the man you want, you need to find yourself first. After all, it’s pretty easy to find what you want when you know what it is, even in the crowd.

June has come. Classes start next week and this means hello assignments, hello projects, hello allowance and everything school. Jeff is in 5^th grade now. Two years from now, he will be graduating from grade school and welcoming the new adventures high school brings. Our ten-year old will soon be a teen. How time flies.

Yes, time flies so fast. Next week, my husband is going back to Riyadh. Just like my son, his vacation is over. While Jeff’s classes start on June10, Dario’s flight is on June12. He is going back to work, work, work. I have been trying to get this out of my mind for days – the thought of him not being here with us to celebrate Father’s Day, of missing him, of waiting for another year to hold him again, everything about him being away. This was why I haven’t written anything here for a couple of days. I just didn’t feel doing anything since the 1^st of June. Aaaahhh, the life of a wife of an OFW. Well, at least, there are YM, webcams, emails, phone calls, text messages; and I thank technology for that. Chatting with him every single day for months somehow gives me and our son the feeling of being literally close to him.

Anyway, enough for my ‘emotional appearance’. Talk to you again soon, people!

Each year my husband gets home for his vacation, I look forward to every day our son and I will spend with him. And each year, I also look forward to getting pregnant. That’s why each year, I talk to my OB about this matter. So each year, she hands me a prescription of expensive pills for me to take to help me get pregnant. And each year, I am asked to go through trans-V ultrasound for ‘follicle monitoring’. But each year, I end up still hoping.

It was August of 2006 when my day was greeted with good news. It was weeks after Dario left Manila and went back to Riyadh for work. The home pregnancy test kit said ‘positive’, so I immediately went to my doctor and the ultrasound confirmed it. I was one month pregnant. I went to work, did all the usual things I do in the office and all, but I never mentioned it to my friends and family yet – because I wanted my husband to be the first one to hear of it. So at home, I waited for hours until it’s time for us to chat in YM again that evening. I told him the good news and he was so happy. He already had a name ready for the baby, be it a boy or a girl. The only thing he was sad about is that he won’t be here to personally get me the foods I will crave for. The next day, I shared the good news with our son, Jeff. He, too, was so glad. He wanted so much to be a big brother since he was 4, and Jeff was 8 then. Days and weeks passed and everything went well. I was still working as a Sales Officer doing field works and client calls, and everybody in the office knew about my pregnancy. I went to my regular check ups, did my usual work-home routine, helped Jeff with his assignments, chat every evening with my husband with a minute of a closer view of my growing tummy before saying our goodnights – everything was normal. Until one particular day in October, 2006 . . . . .

I went to my doctor for the scheduled check up of what supposed to be my third month. She asked me to lie down then she put the Doppler on my tummy to check my baby’s heartbeat which, she said, should be heard using it. She can’t hear anything, she said. So I was advised to have it checked via ultrasound for a more accurate result. I got the result, yes. And the result was bad news. The baby was still inside me but it no longer has a heartbeat. It’s dead. The baby we had waited for so long was dead. My heart broke into pieces and I began to cry. It was sad.

I was crying the entire time the doctor was explaining things that may have caused it, but the only thing I remembered was that the baby did not develop well and it should be removed from me as soon as possible because the longer it stayed inside, the more dangerous it is for me. I told my doctor that I have to inform Dario first about it, as well as the office so I can file for a leave.

I turned my mobile phone off that day. Aside from the text messages he sent, Dario also called everyday and I didn’t want to tell it to him that way. I wanted us to be sitting face to face in front of our PCs, seeing each other via webcams, and talk. Night came and it was time for our regular nightly chat. I saw his handsome face and adorable smile again and it broke my heart more. ‘How do I begin?’ I said to myself.

After a long deep breath, I asked ‘Pa, sa tingin mo, gaano na katatag ang relationship natin?’ (‘Pa, how strong do you think is our relationship?’) He answered, ‘Matatag na matatag, Mama. Bakit mo naman naitanong?’ (‘Very strong, Mama. Why do you ask?’). I started telling him everything. I was trying to control and hide my tears, but I saw my husband crying and I felt like I was almost dying. I love my husband so much that I don’t want him to hurt. But things happen for a reason, and some reasons we may not understand, while some we may not know why. But they happen.

The following day I was admitted in the hospital, underwent D&C and all the necessary procedures. It was painful physically, but was more painful emotionally. I spent two days in the hospital, and Dario never failed to call and send text messages to me all the time I was there.

This incident made my husband decide that I should stay home and be a full time mom to Jeff. He asked me to file for a resignation that same year and have a break. So I fulfilled my duties as a Sales Officer until December 2006 and started a less complicated, happier and more content life of a stay-at-home mom on January 2007.

Today, almost two years later, we still pray, hope and wait for a baby. We know that God will give it to us, in His time. I get frustrated sometimes, but the words of my husband always calms me – ‘I will love you still, with or without another baby’.

I am very proud of my husband and I am so lucky I have him in my life. No other man can make me happy and give me so much security but Dario. And he’s right. Our relationship as a family is very strong and it keeps going stronger as time passes by . . . . .

Marriage may be a two-way street, but that doesn’t mean you should travel in opposite directions. Experts know what steers good marriages; here are some couple-strengthening tips:

1. Talk, but don’t talk back. Tell your partner how you feel and what you need. When you’re the listener, don’t criticize, debate, dismiss or problem0solve. Recognize your partner’s concerns are as important as yours.
2. Be optimistic. Keep your comments positive – even when discussing problems – and make the effort to remember and appreciate the good in your relationship.
3. Learn to leave an argument before it’s out of control. Tactics include cracking a joke, showing appreciation and backing down.
4. Share your dreams. And find a way to help your spouse realize his or hers.
5. Be flexible. When your spouse asks you to be accommodating, try.
6. Go on a date. Couples need time as twosomes, to reconnect.

source: Reader’s Digest May2008 issue, pg132

Please follow the steps below and you will find out why.

Put your hands together like this on the picture below:

Try to separate your thumbs. The thumbs represent our parents. They can be separated because all humans go through sickness and death, which means our parents will leave us one day.

Please close your thumbs together again, then open your second fingers. These fingers represent our brothers and sisters. They will have their own family, which is why they will leave us too someday.

Now close your second fingers again, then separate your little fingers. These represent your children. Sooner or later, they too will leave us for they have their own lives to live.

Now put them together again and try to separate your fourth fingers in which we put our wedding rings on. You will be surprised to find that it cannot be separated at all. This is because they represent husbands and wives. In your whole lives, you will be attached to each other. Real love will stick together forever and ever.

Remember:
Thumbs represent parents
Second fingers represent brothers & sisters
Middle fingers represent own self
Fourth fingers represent your partner
Small fingers represent your children